Fidget
by AgentOfAngst
Summary: Beast Boy's always moving... So why does he slow down around Raven? (Lowkey romance)


**I majorly ship Beast Boy and Raven, and I started playing with this idea of a sort of hyperactive Beast Boy who only slowed down and got serious around Rae in a story I wrote called Not that kind of girl. I wanted to revisit the idea, so I decided to write a story focused solely on that aspect of slowing down. Enjoy! **

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He was always fidgeting, bouncing, tapping, talking. Beast Boy seemed to be unable to go a few seconds without some sort of distraction. He distracted himself by tapping his fingers and toes, or by telling jokes that no one laughed at, or by transforming into some critter. He had to stay occupied by doing something, saying something or the facade would drop. And what was Beast Boy without that cheesy smile and the constant buzzing around? What was going on in his mind that he tried so desperately to distract himself from?

Raven never intended to get involved. She had her own drama to deal with every day. And then she saw the constant fidgeter pause. Pause for minutes at a time, for her. When Beast Boy got a sense that there was something going on behind her facade, he dropped his for long enough to check on her. He was really quiet about it, and his eyes looked a little sad. Completely different from that normal, cheesy smile she was so used to ignoring. He froze in front of her, studying her in a way that forced her to study him back.

"Is everything going okay?" His voice was barely a whisper. He got quiet when he was being a real person. He was loud when he was cracking jokes and hiding this other side of him. He was loud with Cyborg and Robin, and often with Starfire. So why did he get quiet with her? She was taken aback by this calm, still version of himself. He had slowed down, and in shock, she felt like she owed him a response.

"I've been having nightmares about Trigon. He wants to control me, he always has. It's fine, that's just what I'm dealing with right now." He nodded thoughtfully.

"I've been having nightmares too. I hope this gets better for you." She was about to ask him what he meant by nightmares, but he'd already slipped silently out of sight.

What had he meant by nightmares? Why did he slow down when talked to her? What was going on inside that head of his that he ran away from, and why did he stop running when he was around her? Did he feel braver around her, more able to deal with what was going on behind his mask, or did he just not care if he had to deal with his demons around her? What was going on? And did she really want to know?

But it just kept bugging her. It just kept coming back into her mind. Every time she passed him in the tower she remembered. He was usually bouncing, tapping, fidgeting, but he'd pass her, and he'd slow, and he'd just nod, and she couldn't tell if he was smiling or not. And it bugged her like crazy.

"Beast Boy, can we talk?" She asked, cornering him. He shrugged. Why was he like this? Why was he so noticeably different around her? And had anyone else noticed? Because if someone else noticed then they'd start speculating as well, and then it would be crazy. If Starfire or Cyborg got a scent of something different between her and Beast Boy-when there was very clearly nothing going on-then it would be nuts. Robin probably wasn't a problem, since Robin barely noticed she existed sometimes. She hoped that no one noticed her around Beast Boy. Maybe she was a little different around him too. More open. Maybe...

"What can I help you with?" He asked, his eyes a little sad, but his mouth quirked upwards in a smile.

"You mentioned something the other day," she began.

"Yeah?" He wasn't moving, he was just waiting for her. Maybe a slight head tilt, but otherwise, he was still.

"You said you had nightmares."

"Oh, yeah." He nodded.

"I told you what mine was about, so, what about you?" Beast Boy sighed and looked around.

"Okay, you win Raven. I'll tell you. But not here." He grabbed her hand, surprising her, and pulled her to a nearby window. Then, he opened the window, transformed into a gull, and flapped towards the roof, compelling her to follow him. She levitated to the roof after him. He had already changed back to Beast Boy by the time she reached him, sitting on the edge, one leg crossed over the other, arms folded in his lap.

"This is where I go to escape everything." He told her, looking out over the city.

"I just hide in my room and read. I admit this is a little bit nicer."

"Well, no offense, I'm a little glad you didn't get this idea first. Because it's really the only place I have privacy." He leaned back now, looking up at the clouds.

"What, do people just barge into your room?" She asked with a little bit of a laugh. He looked at her.

"Yeah."

"Oh. Why do you let them?"

"I don't know. Because it's better than being alone."

"If you don't want to be alone, why do you come up here?" She challenged.

"That's different." He looked upset, but she pushed anyway.

"I see what you feel when you're alone. I can't explain it, but I know you're sad. Whenever you slow down, I see it. And you slow down around me. So what's up with that, Beast Boy? And what do you dream about?"

"That's a lot of questions, but I'll try to answer them. You're right about everything. And my bad dreams are like your bad dreams."

"You've been having dreams about a demon?"

"No, about family." She looked at him, saw him pull his legs close to him. The sadness was back in his eyes.

"What happened to them?" She asked, making the rash decision to put her hand on his arm as he looked away to hide his sadness.

"I mean, they're dead, but that's not what I dream about, Rae. I dream about when I wanted to be a part of their family, and I thought it was normal to just be left alone. To just have them on their side and me on mine, like it didn't really matter that I was there. And I'd bounce and goof, and fidget and grab their attention for a little while, and then they'd go back, to their studies and I'd be locked out again. So yeah, I hate being alone. But sometimes I gotta deal with it. Sometimes I gotta deal with the fact that I don't have a family-"

"You do." She said suddenly.

"You have us. And you fidget because you want to keep our attention, but we're not them Beast Boy. We care about you. I care about you. You don't have to keep your mask up for us to like you. You can have demons to deal with, and we'll still be your family. And because we're your family, you won't have to deal with them alone."

"Thanks, Rae."

"I like it when you're quiet, it lets me know you're real." She whispered.

"Okay, then let's be quiet. The sun's about to set." So, resting her head against his shoulder, they were quiet, and they were still.


End file.
